The debonair Basil Marigold's

On Monday our daughter returns to schooling. It will not be the schooling she is used to and I can't bring myself to use the horrible phrase that's being used at work, and on the media of the 'new normal.' She was given the choice herself whether to go back or not. She is mature enough to know her own mind and has probably had enough of being at home for the last three months. The class sizes seem to be very small, in single figures. It'll be like experiencing a private eduction.  She'll be missed though. I doubt she'll miss us once she is in the swing of it. Her brother will miss her the most of course. He's like that. I am sure once he's used to it he'll cope with her being at school and him not. We'll go from a 2 person school to a single attendee on Monday. He'll be our sole focus...Poor thing. Hopefully in the last three months she has kept up enough for when she gets back. She's bright enough I'm sure, and apart from some ge...

Easy to say, but I am fairly sure that my daughter was only born, at best, 2 years ago. I can clearly remember driving her out of the local hospital in the back of the new car we'd bought just before because we knew we'd need more space. It had only been 7 months or so since I'd learnt to drive. Everything felt new at that point, but no more than driving her home that day. Like I said this was, at most 2 years ago. However, it seems that she somehow celebrated her 11th Birthday a few days ago. How this happened I have no idea! Definitely 2 years. I am convinced of it. Who's wrong? How has eleven years passed so fast? I have found children do have some way of accelerating time. She has grown up so much; She's almost as tall as her mother! Amazing really. How you can be given a baby by a nurse and then told it's time to head home and away you go! They don't give you any advice, or in fact, any formalised instruction manual. Nothing. And we haven't ...

Ever since we have entered this period of extended lockdown the ability to exercise has also been somewhat reduced too. We now have a daily allowance to provide exercise (Though of course that in the strictest sense is also open for debate, as is the entire government advice). We have therefore kept ourselves to a once a day approach. We are also fortunate in where we live as although we are in a fairly urbanised environment beyond this area there is quite a large expanse of reasonably well connected walks to be had. You can, for instance walk a few minutes from our house and wander into countryside. Of course, if you lived here maybe 60 or 70 years ago you'd not see this as what was there before was coal mines in full production. What we are now walking in is a healed landscape. The scars of this industry such as pit tips and railway lines have removed, ripped up, etc. Nature has reclaimed so many areas of Ashfield. We are able to take advantage of this on our daily exercise. It...

One of the byproducts of being in lockdown is witnessing my daughter bounce around the house wearing a single foot muff seemingly intent on becoming some human-hybrid monopod.

The United Kingdom is on 'lockdown' if you follow the news, and read the papers. It isn't of course. I detest the use of the term 'lockdown.' For one, it's another creeping americanism that the world can do without. There it is used as a prison term. Here it's jarring and unhelpful because it means nothing happens, which is patently a position we are not in. I would for clarity refer to it as a partial shutdown at best. You can leave the house. You can leave for health reasons; ie: A run, or a walk. One even imagines cartwheeling down the road is acceptable provided you maintain the physical distancing. This takes me to another term that flabbergasts me, 'Social Distancing.' This is very much the last thing we should be doing. Humans are by evolution, social animals. What they are asking us to do is 'Physical' distancing. I believe it should be a minimum of two metres, so, virtually, a horizontal me in every direction when you are outside. ...

As the current crisis continues to sweep through this island, and people decide that only an average of 100 toilet rolls per household will suffice, we now face the prospect of opening our own private schools. We have discussed this with our children and we have decided on the following 6am - wake up 6:30 to 7:30am - Cross country run 7:30 to 7:45am - Shower (cold) to invigorate 7:45am to 8:30am - Breakfast. A choice of Kippers, or Eggs 8:30 to 9:30am - First Lesson: Mathematics ( NO BODMAS!) 9:30 to  10:30am - Second Lesson: English (NO DICKENS!) 10:30-10:45am Break - 10 laps of the garden 10:45 to Noon - Handwriting lessons Noon to 1pm - Lunch Menu Monday - Fish and boiled Vegetables with semolina pudding Tuesday - Fish and steamed Vegetables with spotted dick pudding Wednesday - Fish with roasted Vegetables with Tapioca pudding Thursday - Boiled Ham and mashed potatoes with Blancmange pudding Friday - Lamb with boiled potatoes with cold rice pudding and jam 1...

ARGGGGHHHH...cried the people as they were soon made aware that despite there being enough food in the shops they decided that this would not do and they needed that food in their houses  Not for any sensible reason, but because then they have the food and won’t need to share it.  And so, Britain, so clearly persuaded of Brexit because we they keep telling us that we survived the war we can survive Brexit and No-deal Brexit. It turns out at the first signs of a social problem they cannot survive without a collective panic. They do not have that survival mentality that the crazy brexiteers think is an inherent British value.  The current British value being highlighted is idiocy. Idiocy and selfishness.  This is both Morrisons and ALDI swept clean like an episode of Dale Winton’s supermarket sweep.  First they came for the pasta, toilet rolls and rice, now they come for the biscuits and squash! It also happens to be the first year in 43 years that I have received...