The debonair Basil Marigold's

In 5 days or so, by the end of the week, wonder how my farm is?

Bjork, there is, quite frankly only one bjork. I think two would rip a hole in the Universe from the point of view of there being a little too much quirky weirdness to cope with at once. Yet she could write and sing beautifully. Been listening to WE7.com and found this is her only song on there! Still, it's one of her best. I had forgotten the Lyrics. I seem to remember at the time, there in lied the attraction of the song. This continue to proves my wifes theory that my music is inherently morbid and introspective to the point of depressive, this may be true, but the one tangible benefit is that it makes you think deeper. So here's the song and below are the lyrics. darling stop confusing me with your wishful thinking hopeful enbraces don't you understand? i have to go through this i belong to here where no-one cares and no-one loves no light no air to live in a place called hate the city of fear i play dead it stops the hurting i play dead and hurting st

I am often stunned by the level of disregard Mini Cab drivers have for the highway code. This has led me to believe that they operate to different rules to everybody else. This has been proved now with my discovery of the Mini Cab driving test paper, which I have transcribed here; Q1: You are about to reach the address of a 'pick up' on a busy street, do you?         a) check your mirrors, indicate and then slowly break while moving to the side of the road and gently slowing to a stop.         b) heave on your steering wheel and pull in at an angle, only ever used by American Bunker busting missiles, ensuring enough of your back end is in the road to block one lane of traffic. Q2: Are mirrors attached to cars for        a) essential and important safety reasons, allowing for observations and identification of hazards        b) watching ladies bottoms after passing them in the street Q3: Indicators are designed for what reason?        a) indicating to other road users

But sadly, this story is, frankly, heartbreaking and slightly scary on so many levels. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8551122.stm

I have always been a fan of the memory stick. They have always been very functional and stick like. Yet, this has begun to change with designers realising that there can be more impact to a flash drive than a plastic stick gives it and here's a few of the high impact ones; I do love the idea of Lego Flashdrives. I particularly like the idea that at some point you could perhaps build a desktop PC out of lego flashdrives Okay, this is difficult on two levels, the first being that should you use a laptop, what is essentially a spherical object wider than your laptop means it's going to be difficult to plug in and keep your laptop flat on the desk. The other problem would be walking through Airport customs with your business documents loaded on a flash drive shaped into a hand grenade. This situation involves nothing but an unpleasant ending. For those tree hugger's amongst you. This can only be described as Eco-genius, a

Which is about bums. As a runner you do tend to find that the whole of your race is spent chasing bottoms. I would like to say that as a runner, you do also, realise fairly early on that there are so many different shapes, contours, sizes, oscillations in lycra when it comes to runners bottom (when encased in lycra pants and being subjected to the running motion, bottoms, particularly female bottoms, not being sexist here, few men wear Lyrca bottoms, tend to oscillate, like ripples across an ocean). I tend to think that my autobiography could be called 'oscillations in Lycra'. So I would like to celebrate the bottom, in all its various manifestations, I will never cease to be fascinated by runners bottom as they are like snowflakes, no two are alike. I shall not be describing my bottom, don't ask. It would make Rodin, jealous.

I have now, after a hot bath, recovered quite well from my exertions this morning, in the Kilomathon, a 16 mile road race from Nottingham to Derby, along with 5,700 other people. The weather, as I am British, and should as a matter of culture, discuss first, was very good, although changeable from, sun out, quite warm to cloud cover, got very, very cold. So the two t-shirt solution proved the prudent choice! The race organisation was okay, but we still get to the point where they do not provide enough toilets for the amount of racers in the race so you stand in the queue while the race is getting its runners to the start, which as an anal, ritualistic runner, I abhor breaking my routine. Yet the bonus was that I started the race as the very last runner in the field, which a) was novel, but b) helped slow me down and not go too fast. And as they stuffed up the start I being the last runner in the field didn't start last, as our pen was released before the faster pen. So, while t

I am running tomorrow in a competitive race. I have just looked at my running history and note with horror, two points. The first is that my last competitive race was a 10 miler from Martigues to Caro, located in the south of France, in July 2008. I remember from memory it starting at 5 ish and being somewhere near 60 degrees in temperature (or so it felt while running), it may not, technically speaking, been this high. And secondly being in France and living in England, it was a long way to go to run a race! (though we have reasons to be there) I cannot say that I decided to travel 1000miles to run in a small provincial race in the south of France. So it is almost two years since I donned the rather attractive Green/red/white striped running jersey as seen here when I was striding home in the Nottingham Full Marathon. If I could offer any advice, titled; 'Marathons you really don't want to run because they are overpriced and the course is pure garbage' the answer to this

Okay, so have you thought of the end game of what happens to the vessel when death strikes? I have, and I was quite convinced that there were 2 ways in which I would prefer to dealt with when my time comes. I have been for a fair few years now. 1 - Have my ashes blasted into space. This option has always been a favourite, if only from the point of view that at some point, in a geological time scale my ashes, based on the laws of probabilities, will converge and form an asteroid or even a planet, both options are pretty darn cool. So I can truly reside on Planet Theaker, instead of being accused of this, I will become one. 2 - The full on Viking cremation at sea. While my mortal remains sail out to sea my friends on the river bank will launch a flaming arrow into the wooden funeral pyre upon which I would lie, dressed as a Victorian dandy. There are two issues here which would need sorting, one would be to begin befriending the UK Olympic archery team and the other is finding an exp

So says Merlin, the magician, in the film Excalibur.Well, we too have experienced the nightmare of this situation, in electronic form. My mobile phone, the redoubtable Samsung Omnia, has hopefully been killed temporarily. My 18month phone contract is soon due to end, and having suffered at the hands of vodafone's 1 star customer service I am leaving their network. I have decided in these tumultuous times to avoid a long 18/24 month contract and have resorted to a pay monthly SIM only deal. This will decrease my phone bill by more than half, which is great, obviously. The only drawback is that I have to continue using my Samsung, which I actually do like very much, with two small exceptions; a bizarre locking system when you are phoning from it (I see why, the designers thought, 'We need a locking system so that our customers ears cannot hang up phone calls by hitting the off button with their ear', what thought didn't go through their mind is that, if you are ringing a

So, after what has seemed an age, I have pretty much finished one more of my 12 labours, slightly more appetizing than the one's Hercules had to undertake. All in all, it looks a lot better than what was there previously. I am fairly chuffed in that we also bought it in under budget and I am now contemplating what I can spend that whole £2 on? Ideas, anyone? Of course now it'll just get stuffed full with all sorts of tat.

The project, which is called, 'the Loft' is almost complete. At least phase 1. Phase 2 requires more money and even further expansion of the loft empire, but this is another job for another day/year. Phase 1 as I have said is almost finished. I think it will be by this weekend. The budget has stretched further than anticpated, due to a wonderful local timber merchant and a couple of discount weekends at DIY stores. I shall be posting photos at some point to show the progress which has been made. It has to be said, slow progress, as working on joists is for gymnasts, who tend to be 14 years old, Eastern European and weighing about 5stone. I can only say that I have once been 14 yrs old, and indeed 5 stones, though this was many years ago. I have never been eastern european. Work got markedly easier when there was some flooring laid, as it made moving and stretching far easier than before when one slip meant I would like some comedy show, be waggling my legs through my daughter

Though there are so many nice views. I have seen some of them. The majority of nice views or buildings I would like to see,the visual stuff lives in my head and I've never had the ability to birth them, as they should or I want them to be. I believe we are a long way from being able to express our thoughts onto a physical object, like a canvass. The idea of being able to do this fascinates me. I find the idea of being able to decorate every room in your house by projecting what you see in your minds eye onto the walls of a house instantaneously and changeable would be much fun, unless you lived with a chronic depressive, in which case you would just have to get used to whirling fog grey on every wall. When a happier soul enters the room and brings with them a sunbursting brightness, the two conflicting mental images would make for an interesting front room, but not, probably book reading. Anyway, not quite sure where that paragraph started from or will go to. I have been playing