Pain is temporary, quitting is Permanent...

...or so they so, whoever 'they' are. I have been through what can only be described as temporary, but at some points I really did think it would be permanent. It's been a pretty long time since I have been able to really, comfortably sit down and type, or in fact, sit down comfortably at all. Today is the day where I have actually felt pain free, all day. Oddly, it has taken 2 whole months to get to this point.

On the 10th July I took my friend, Dexter the dog out for a walk. I remember it clearly now as it was a beautifully warm day. The sun was shining and we walked down into the dumbles. Dexter was having fun because the further into the dumbles, the more he could chase and leap at butterflies, and tiny flappy birds. 

The following day, 11th July,I woke up and my neck was in absolute agony. I had trapped a nerve somehow and struggled with it all day to the point of swallowing some painkillers. It hadn't gone away by the time I started work on the Monday. By the 15th I was driven to trying the Voltarol and Co-Codamol because the pain felt more in my shoulder and I was just struggling, working, sleeping. It was all too painful. I managed to mask the pain for a few hours a day, but it was pretty fairly constant. 

By the end of the first week I'd booked an appointment with a chiropractor because the painkillers weren't working and I couldn't get any stronger ones, and in all fairness since the 11th I hadn't been able to lift my arm up with my strength. I had to use my right arm to lift the left. 

At the chiropractor he almost immediately diagnosed the issue. He was going to perform 4 tests but only needed two, which i failed, so as he said there's no need to do the other 2 as if I'd failed the first then I'd fail the remaining ones.

The rotator cuff muscles had been wrecked by Dexter. Although he may have done me a favour. After discussing the issue and explaining that for well over a year I'd been struggling to generate power to lift things onto a higher shelf or a dumbbell over my shoulder. I had put it down to age. I am not quite close enough to 22 than I used to be.  After this discussion and mentioning the symptoms he seems to think that at some point in the past which has wrecked my shoulder but not quite enough to the point that it caused pain. So, the shoulder was pretty badly weakened and what Dexter seems to have done was cause the catastrophic breakdown. Turns out he has done me a favour. If he hadn't basically smashed them all to pieces then I probably wouldn't have had it looked it as there was no pain. the result would have been a permanent loss of movement. And for those who know me, my ability to stretch and bend defines who I am. Now, however, Dexter has performed a sort of cure he can fix it and get the shoulder back to 100% which it wasn't before. He mentioned recovery would take some time. and it has. 

8 weeks. In fairness I noticed a change on the bank Holiday weekend. This surprised me as the Thursday prior I had driven to work and the journey both there and back was excruciating from the start to the finish. By the time I arrived home my I had had about enough of it all. And the previous weeks of unremitting pain and lack of sleep had driven me into the depths of despair. So on the Saturday when I took the train to Nottingham the arm was sore due to the train seats being uncomfortable. But remarkably I  managed to tolerate it and not take a pain killer. The following day I managed the same thing. It took some focus to decide not to when the shoulder became sore. Usually when I was tired or tweaked it doing something, but it had improved from where I was just 4 days prior. 

Since that point I haven't taken any painkillers, and gradually over the last week the pain has subsided quite a lot to where I am today. Not only clear of painkillers, but for the first time in 2 months seemingly free of pain. 

The one draw back to the recover and being at this point is that I do sometimes need to keep reminding myself that I need to keep putting Ice on my shoulder, and keeps doing the exercises. When you are in constant pain there is a reminder there to put the ice pack on, take the painkillers, do the exercises! 

As the chiropractor says it is the false belief that because you don't feel pain you think it's fully healed. I have another session in 2 weeks. Hopefully by then I'll be able to pass his tests. 

At the moment though it is quite a delight to be able to comfortably do things.  I can draw, I can write in a diary and i can type here as well for a prolonged time. 

Maybe the light at the tunnel wasn't actually a fire at all.