You Never Really Know Until It Happens To You
When I was growing up there was a story my mum often re-told about myself and my sister, who is 11months younger than me. We were born close together and as a consequence we spent our youth going through the same schools with me continuously in the year above, blazing a trail so to speak. I cannot stress how different we were academically at school, which is where this story comes. It must also be born in mind that we shared the same surname at the time of this. I changed mine in this month, 11 years ago. Hasn't time flown!
My Mum attended my sister parents evening (my father never really did) in her 5th year (we had that at this time, instead of what would now be year 10/11?). She was talking to our history History (who was also deputy headmistress) and the teacher was saying how my sister was essentially not really interested in the subject, not really academic with it and skipped listens and could misbehave in them. School in general never appealed to my sister I think. At which point my mum said something along the lines of, 'She is so different from her brother he's always enjoyed history and did well in his GCSE's last year.' The teacher then said, 'who is that?', my mum then replies, 'Tony Williams'. At which point my mum relates the look on her face as it seems to register. 'Oh, they're related? I knew they had the same way but I couldnt't imagine they are related in any way as they are almost diametrically opposed!'
This is true. I worked hard at school because I love learning. I possessed this belief that was nothing I could not master, especially in history and at school, I worked hard for this teacher because I enjoyed what I was set out to do, so I went further than most of the other year group. I had a flare for history. I still do, it may have been dampened a little through lack of use but it still glows, excusing all the innuendo's loaded into that sentence.
Here's my point. We lived in the same house, we were disciplined on fairly similar grounds when we stepped out of line. I am guessing the values imprinted into us as children were pretty consistent. Yet, after all this we were chalk and cheese. We still are. We epitomise the saying, 'If we weren't family, we'd never be friends.' and we wouldn't, in fact we aren't, because we have nothing in common apart from family ties. So how can this difference be created between siblings? I know some who are like me and I know other siblings who have a relationship I envy greatly and kind of wish I had.
My son and my daughter are both still very young. There is nearly two years between them in birth date. Yet, even after 2 weeks of the second being with us there appears to me a vast difference in their temperament. I admit 2 weeks is no length of time in the grand scheme of things, but even as new born's there are fundamental differences so far. Our son could challenge a mouse in a quietness competition and is more placid now than his sister was, though she has become much more laid back as she has got older, yet now appears to be testing boundaries on an almost daily basis, which though annoying as a parent at times also enables pride as it shows that she is not happy accepting life as it is and continues seeks new avenues of experience. So I welcome the hassle as a sign of developing inquisitiveness. And I cling onto the Aristotlean quote, 'The unexamined life is not worth living.' But seeing the emerging differences is one of the more interesting aspects of becoming a parent. I am not sure how far apart these divisions might reach. Indeed they may reseed as the years pass. The guarantee is an interesting journey of observation though.
My Mum attended my sister parents evening (my father never really did) in her 5th year (we had that at this time, instead of what would now be year 10/11?). She was talking to our history History (who was also deputy headmistress) and the teacher was saying how my sister was essentially not really interested in the subject, not really academic with it and skipped listens and could misbehave in them. School in general never appealed to my sister I think. At which point my mum said something along the lines of, 'She is so different from her brother he's always enjoyed history and did well in his GCSE's last year.' The teacher then said, 'who is that?', my mum then replies, 'Tony Williams'. At which point my mum relates the look on her face as it seems to register. 'Oh, they're related? I knew they had the same way but I couldnt't imagine they are related in any way as they are almost diametrically opposed!'
This is true. I worked hard at school because I love learning. I possessed this belief that was nothing I could not master, especially in history and at school, I worked hard for this teacher because I enjoyed what I was set out to do, so I went further than most of the other year group. I had a flare for history. I still do, it may have been dampened a little through lack of use but it still glows, excusing all the innuendo's loaded into that sentence.
Here's my point. We lived in the same house, we were disciplined on fairly similar grounds when we stepped out of line. I am guessing the values imprinted into us as children were pretty consistent. Yet, after all this we were chalk and cheese. We still are. We epitomise the saying, 'If we weren't family, we'd never be friends.' and we wouldn't, in fact we aren't, because we have nothing in common apart from family ties. So how can this difference be created between siblings? I know some who are like me and I know other siblings who have a relationship I envy greatly and kind of wish I had.
My son and my daughter are both still very young. There is nearly two years between them in birth date. Yet, even after 2 weeks of the second being with us there appears to me a vast difference in their temperament. I admit 2 weeks is no length of time in the grand scheme of things, but even as new born's there are fundamental differences so far. Our son could challenge a mouse in a quietness competition and is more placid now than his sister was, though she has become much more laid back as she has got older, yet now appears to be testing boundaries on an almost daily basis, which though annoying as a parent at times also enables pride as it shows that she is not happy accepting life as it is and continues seeks new avenues of experience. So I welcome the hassle as a sign of developing inquisitiveness. And I cling onto the Aristotlean quote, 'The unexamined life is not worth living.' But seeing the emerging differences is one of the more interesting aspects of becoming a parent. I am not sure how far apart these divisions might reach. Indeed they may reseed as the years pass. The guarantee is an interesting journey of observation though.
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