The debonair Basil Marigold's

Tonight will be the second night without our youngest child in the house. I know this in two ways. The first way was that he was dropped off somewhere in deepest, darkest Nottinghamshire on Friday night. The second way is that the eldest child has since cannibalised his bed. His pillows are now part of the den in her bed, with pillows now surrounding her. His blanket has been draped over the rails of the top bunk to form a curtain. And his teddies? Oh, well, on Friday night she removed those into her bed as she didn't think they should be lonely. The only thing left on his bed is his bed sheet! While he is out in the woods, hunting beasts and fording rivers with kindling and rope, she plunders his home base without remorse. At least she is honest; Do you miss him? Thinks...'Not very much.' She replies. In all fairness seeing the photos of him on camp this feeling my well be reciprocated.

Last weekend found me being all arty, and a little farty. I found myself in this dying nations capital city. post-terrorist outrage, post-general election London as I found it bustled like it always does. Huge swathes of people sweeping past intent on some purpose. London 2017. I, however, had a specific purpose. The Pink Floyd Exhibition: Their mortal remains. It is being curated in the V&A museum. I'd had the tickets booked since last year. I was terribly excited as Pink Floyd are, arguably, my favourite band. I have devoured all that they have given us over the last 25 years since I was first played a mix tape by my friend Duncan in the 4th year of secondary school. The same Duncan, in fact, who joined me in London to visit the exhibition. We met up at Paddington station. We have known each other for just over 30 years now; Boys to men. I am going grey; he's going bald. The exhibition was all that I could have imagined and so, so much more. We spent about 3hrs naviga

Yesterday, this is being started on Friday the 9th, it may not be finished then, was the General Election 2017. A year after the utter catastrophe of the European Referendum (essentially a vote foisted on an entire nation to solve an internal conservative argument that was lasting 25 years; which caused the country to split right down the middle) we have another national poll, Joy! Hold your excitement, people. Much like the Referendum, this election has only compounded the division and made us an even bigger laughing stock in the world. Best joke of the day; 'After the General Election result, the pound fell and the English channel rose. Filled by the tears of laughter of the Europeans'. So, after cubs we head via the polling station to cast my vote in the most recent of General Elections. As we approach the Flump mentions her preferred vote, 'I'd vote for the one with the pretty red flower. I like flowers' 'Umm...Okay. I guess people have voted for l

We have two children; One is an avid speed reader. The other, most definitely is not. The speed reader will read stories; The other prefers reference and  encyclopedic facts and figures, currently these are about Marvel superheroes and/or Dinosaurs. He has to be pushed a little more firmly to read than the other one. He has therefore developed methods of procrastination. He deployed one of these today. He avoided the obvious one of reading in his head. He decided to disappear and write a story to then read. Quite ingenious to my mind. Here is the story that he wrote all by himself (I'll keep the errors, etc in); "Once upon a time ther was a boy called Joe. Joe was a boy and this is the story of Joe. He was having a party in the bath and then a misterius [Mysterious] thing hapend [happened] "Loads of Boxes!" said Joe. The boxes squirted water. Then Joes dad said "Their [they] are my water boxes so you don't tuch [touch] them." Then William Shacespear

Political sound bites have now been all pervasive in elections. They have been around for decades now, but have become the preferred method of political communication. I personally quite like them, if they are short and pithy then they can be quite effective and can cut through to the electorate. For example, Tony Blair, a man who refined the soundbite very well, with 'Education, Education, Education' and his best 'Tough on Crime, tough on the causes of crime'. Massively helped him convert the opinions of the electorate to vote Labour. What I do dislike is the vacuous, meaningless ones. Theresa May has been using one a lot this election. This pointless, waste of money election. It is 'Strong, and stable'. The issues I have are thus; The conservative government have neither been strong, nor stable. It is therefore meaningless, and also vastly misleading. Brexit has ripped the country in half and unleashed a great torrent of abusive politics. This is not sta