Awards night 2009
Now, usually awards ceremonies tend to take place around christmas time, or the new year but mine are somewhat different. It is a one off award that I tend to give out on an annual basis to those who exceed the norm and therefore prove themselves abnormal. So with little ado what we are celebrating here is the 2009 winner of the Tony Theaker 'Congratulations, you truly are the stupidest person I have encountered in 2009, with you unmitigated genius' award.
And the award goes to the female owner of a battered camper van for the following, intellectually qualifying, reason.
The mind which works this way can only win the award.
Initial Thought: I need to charge up my camper van or provide electricity to my van, which I can do by plugging a cable into an internal house socket and connect this to my Van.
Thought process 2: How to do this?
Option 1: I will run a cable across the floor out of the house along the pavement and then attach to it to the van in a discreet and safe manner....
No, wrong. What I will do is the complete opposite and prove my inability to hold a rational thought in my head. What I will do is run it to the van and then pull it taut so at 9.30pm at night when its pitch black then what I will have done is create a trip wire that will cross the pavement so that any walker, blind man will not see it nor would they imagine that any one would be that much of a genius to think of creating a tripwire at night! No, especially not that runner who for the life of me and I cannot imagine why, would expect someone to set up a trip wire on a PUBLIC right of way, unless they were so congenitally defective they should be in a secure unit. I guess you must have had a day release.
So now that I do not possess a complete 100% of my skin on my leg, thanks to your complete masterstroke, I wish you a pleasant life. My sore wrist and tight neck wish you a pleasant life. I have a feeling that if this is your level of intelligence I imagine it will prove to be a rather dull one with no purpose.
So congratulations, you were the stupidest person I have had the misfortune to cross paths with, I have a hopeful feeling that it will be a long time before I meet anyone as clever as you proved to be.
And the award goes to the female owner of a battered camper van for the following, intellectually qualifying, reason.
The mind which works this way can only win the award.
Initial Thought: I need to charge up my camper van or provide electricity to my van, which I can do by plugging a cable into an internal house socket and connect this to my Van.
Thought process 2: How to do this?
Option 1: I will run a cable across the floor out of the house along the pavement and then attach to it to the van in a discreet and safe manner....
No, wrong. What I will do is the complete opposite and prove my inability to hold a rational thought in my head. What I will do is run it to the van and then pull it taut so at 9.30pm at night when its pitch black then what I will have done is create a trip wire that will cross the pavement so that any walker, blind man will not see it nor would they imagine that any one would be that much of a genius to think of creating a tripwire at night! No, especially not that runner who for the life of me and I cannot imagine why, would expect someone to set up a trip wire on a PUBLIC right of way, unless they were so congenitally defective they should be in a secure unit. I guess you must have had a day release.
So now that I do not possess a complete 100% of my skin on my leg, thanks to your complete masterstroke, I wish you a pleasant life. My sore wrist and tight neck wish you a pleasant life. I have a feeling that if this is your level of intelligence I imagine it will prove to be a rather dull one with no purpose.
So congratulations, you were the stupidest person I have had the misfortune to cross paths with, I have a hopeful feeling that it will be a long time before I meet anyone as clever as you proved to be.
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